Blingtardette

The latest news on Mr Generic Strip is that he is now married to bouncyplums! and they too are RL/SL! but Fluffi is still on his profile and so is KISSESS, so who knows what this even means. I somehow doubt that they are all shacked up together in some industrial town in Italy.

I need hardly add that bouncyplums is expecting a Zooby and that they have gone into horses. People, people, you are so unoriginal. At least the bunnies were silent. I am so sick of neighing, you wouldn’t believe

Also, Snookums is once more a CHILD OF DIVORCE but it’s cool cause she still loves all her mommies very much. Obviously she loves daddy and mommy #6 slightly more than mommy #5 because he has a bigger house, but then he needs a big house to accommodate her three brand new siblings (twins and a Zooby). This lot are still on bunnies but I’m sure they will catch up soon. Somebody needs to stage a chicken revival. Chickens were awesome. You could kick them and it made you happy, like the flamingos in Sims 2.

Mr Generic Strip’s profile currently reads:

Love: can some one tell me what mean really this word? I never met one person can tell me it’s sense!!!!!!

Dont say “I LOVE YOU!” if you are not able to acept you partner! He/She can be away, can fall of sleep or be busy, but HE/SHE will LOVE you anyway

I am not posting this to mock the spelling and grammar as everything Mr Generic Strip says has been on at least one trip through Google Translate, only to illustrate why even Snookums has now deserted him.

Yes, Snookums is five now, and has a new mommy and daddy! (She also still has Eleventeenth as a mommy, but these two seem to be the primary carers). Mommy and daddy Capslock are VERY happy with their new purchase:

MY LOVELY WIFE SAVANNAH,MY ADORABLE DAUGHTER SNOOKUMSAND MYSELF RELAXING LOVING LIFE AND CHERISHING EACH OTHER!!!!I LOVE YOU BOTH MY ANGELS!!

PROUD MAMA OF THE BEST GIRL IN SL SNOOKUMS CAPSLOCK SHE IS MY CUTE LITTLE ANGEL, I LOVE SO MUCH,PLUS MY BABY PARIS ADRIENNE LETICIA CAPSLOCK WILL BE BORN DEC 15TH.  I AM THE LUCKIEST LADY IN ALL SL!!!

And with each other:

Me and my true love Savannah i love her soooooooo much,she is my love,my life,my angel,MY SUB,my all I LOVE YOU OOOOOH SOOOO MUCH BABY WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!AND WILL NOT HURT YOU IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE,AND WILL PROTECT YOU WITH ALL MY POWER AND MIGHT!!!

(Please, Mr Capslock, do try not to have an orgasm in your profile picks, people might be reading them in a PG area.)

And with their friends bodyguards:

My partner in crime and punishment fuck with him or me or my baby or my sister and watch your nuts he ll rip the m off!Look at my baby the wrong way they come off all i have to say is one word…so beware you been warned

And with their… cars?

This may seem a bit redneck but i took this pic of all my rides here in sl…Arent they Cool?????i also own Three horses as well…..

I am worried that Paris Adrienne Leticia is over a month late. Do you think they are saving up for a Zooby?

• the new manager, dancers, bouncers etc. turned out to be as imaginary as I suspected and I did indeed rez one day in the midst of a desert
• though not before Mr Generic Strip announced the farewell event ONE HOUR before it was due to start and expected people to show. I blew him out, naturally.
• the heartbroken Random Afk has decided to devote herself to Bilbo and photography
• Bilbo’s profile now contains a tribute to his ‘little sister, lost forever’ Snookums, but no mention of Mr Generic Strip, which is probably for the best
• Mr Generic Strip is still loved up with Eleventeenth (though they are not partnered as she doesn’t want him mentioned on her profile) and the remarkably resilient Snookums now has a twin. Who is a year older than her. Somebody really needs to sit these people down and explain the concept of TWINS.
• Mrs Generic Strip the First is back with Mr Generic Strip the Second

From this, I have learned the valuable lesson that if you want to be a successful golddigger and live on islands and shit then you are better off being a kid than a slut. Kids are a status symbol on SL, just like partners and islands and clubs, and it’ll generally cost more to adopt a kid than register a partner. Snookums has outlasted at least two mothers and will probably survive the third. There’s less direct competition; if a prettier, nicer, more available child shows up, it’s not necessarily your replacement, it can be your sissypoos! Also, it is easier to be a kid than a trophy wife. As long as you say ‘pwease’ and ‘fankoo’ and ‘i luv ooo’ you are doing your job. Faking textual orgasms gets really tedious after a while. You will not be pestered by cockless noobs demanding sex, and if you are you can report them for ageplay. Win!

So, Mrs Generic Strip the Third (well, she could be the Fourth, or the Fifth, or the Eleventeenth, since I’m not to know what happened before I arrived on the increasingly telenovellaesque scene) now has an alt for Generic Strip purposes. The profile of this alt features a pic of her and Mr Generic Strip and reads:

I LOVE you Mr Generic Strip forever, every hour every minute every second of every day is filled with thoughts of you. I never thought that life could be like this, I have never known love like it, the whole of my heart body and soul is yours for all eternity…

OK, that isn’t what it reads. I made that up. But I promise you the real thing is every bit as drivelly. And longer.

At least, I sincerely hope she’s an alt, because otherwise Mr Generic Strip has been a very naughty boy indeed. Again. And Snookums is going to be even more confused about the exact identity of her mommy. She’s only thwee.

Should this alt ever turn up to work in the club, I’m so going to address her by her original name. Knowledge is power, you know?

k, so today Mr Generic Strip’s profile is announcing that he just got partnered AGAIN.

But not! to his manger. Oh no. One of the other girls. I don’t even know this chick, really. She’s turned up at maybe two events and was totally afk on the pole. First I knew she was Speshul was when the boss sent out a group IM telling us all to vote for her in some beauty contest.

But now she has adopted Snookums, and another kid whom I shall call Bilbo for the lulz. I don’t know who is looking after CutiePie nowadays. Her last mom is now a year younger than her former daughter and tawks like dis, awww hugzs!

And now Random Afk and Mr Generic Strip will be togetha forever!!!! It says so, right there on their profiles!!!!

(Random Afk believes exclamation marks come in groups of four. Like ellipses, but with an extra one tagged on for emphasis.)